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Chronicles

by White Fields

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1.
Chronicles 03:30
Chronicles This is the end of my youth The end of my jaunty days Life’s weight keeps dragging me down I’m stuck in thickest haze I wonder: will there ever be better days for me And I wonder: when will I ever stop waiting This is a world where we only get further by being thrown back Where we have to rise above our dreams Because they will never be reached In a world like this I can’t see the essence in life I am 21 years there’s no will to survive Do you know how we feel in these cold shadows of our streets Where we wander the nights As long as it fucking keeps Us from looking back There’s no more time for regrets This is the end of our youth We are here to forget.
2.
28 Months 03:24
28 months I’m glad my feet are still carrying me on, this road seems much too long 28 months passed by and it feels like all the ones i ever loved are gone the only water that I have in reach is sweat and tears running down my face the ravens circle the black sky ready in any case my shadow disappears the earth opens in front of my eyes my heart beats slower now I know I’m gonna die I hear the reaper call me: “Too sad to be true But you’re the only one That’s left behind” I’ve got my eyes on the horizon But there’s no end in fucking sight An unwanted resurrection - my head lies at your shoulder The first thought that runs through my head: why am I one day older! I realize that it’s all just a dream – that I’ill have to live this day I just hope it won’t drag me further astray I can’t scream away those demons that are stuck in my head They will terrorize me further on today I am on my own The rising sun forms a golden strip in the distance but even these rays can’t reach my heart… it remains cold Those sorrows, can’t you see I am fucked In my life nothing’s fucking fine In this heart after those thousands of nights, nothing is left to be shared with anyone I walk this path all on my fucking own and this distance devides us.
3.
Desolation 03:09
Desolation I’m coming home I’ll take time, I’ll take time to feel the pain, take time to let it all out As my days are dark and my nights seem endless there are silent voices all around: Fuck reason Fuck this heart Fuck this mind Let’s fall apart There’s a riot in my head - little soldiers fighting for more beautiful feelings and all the ashes of this battlegrounds they leave white fields - nothings left there’s silence there’s no hope desolation I’m coming home Maybe we’ve lost our sense of compassion our ability to feel with someone else Our ways cross in depression nobody feels home in this place all the fucking feelings that we have to deal with, all the feelings we have to dispose are superior as you fight them all on your fucking own. and everything that ever seemed fucking perfect, In this ever oh so wonderful world will finally crash down on you - broken as a huddled mass of desperate thoughts fuck your world we are on our own you won’t bring us further our strength will be shown with reason with our hearts with our minds we won’t fall apart In this beautiful world we decide what’s right or wrong, at least we have a fucking chance - are privileged to be that strong. We’ll never fall apart.
4.
Open Doors 05:43
open doors and can you tell me now: what was this all about? now we are standing here in tears i am staring into your sad, empty eyes i won't listen as you are telling me, that this opened us doors and that this opened us brand new pages there's no hope for any answers on these desperately asked questions: where are we? where will this lead? i'll never leave this room, won't read a single line of these pages now that you take my hand and we say goodbye, kisses can't heal this wound to save this scattered heart it needs more than actions i will slam that door, i will rip off all these pages this is the scenery which i never wanted to see, the place in my 20 year old life where i never wanted to be but can't you see... ...you lived up to others expectations, and now i' m sorry to break your heart let’s call this a day let that fucking room in dark i am sorry to break your heart - to break your heart let this quit be the chance for a brand new fucking start. Do you remember this day, when the rain fell hard and it left us two in the coldest dark. And sometimes I feel like being thrown back to this day but you will never be back and I will never look back and I will never come back- back to the point where we started where everything collides we say goodbye i'll say goodbye i'll leave this room I’ll lock these doors and leave everything behind maybe one day i'll plant another seed into that hole just where my heart should beat you said you loved me, then you turned your back on me you let the word “future” sound like a fucking threat

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released April 15, 2011

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White Fields Coburg, Germany

blues since 2010

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